Hemingway said: “You can’t get away from yourself by moving from one place to another.”
This quote is never truer than when you’re trying to figure out how to cope with divorce.
It can feel like your feelings of loss and bittersweet memories follow you everywhere you go. But, there are steps you can take to ease the burden of your emotions and get back to living your life again.
Read on for tips on how to cope with divorce.
Contact a Lawyer
When you’re first starting the divorce process, you may be tempted to put off hiring a lawyer and organizing the division of your assets on your own.
But if you know your marriage is over, it’s important that you handle those things as quickly as possible.
Unlike other breakups you’ve been through, this one will require you to divide your assets. If you give your spouse a leg up on finding out what those are and don’t hire representation to fight for them, you put yourself in the position for an uphill battle.
Contacting a lawyer is particularly important if you have kids and the custody plan isn’t settled. A lawyer can help you organize the evidence you need to ensure you have rights to your child. Learn more about hiring a lawyer and the divorce process.
Make a New Routine
When you’re first going through a divorce, you’ll quickly realize how much of the day was devoted to doing things for your spouse and working together.
But now that you’re single, you need to establish a new routine for yourself. Try to make it a vigorous one. The more time you spend doing activities, the less time you will have to get caught up in your own thoughts.
Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of yourself while you’re going through a divorce is the surest way to come out of it a stronger and more whole person. Realize that what you’re going through is likely one of the most painful events of your life and be patient with yourself.
Allow yourself to grieve through the divorce process, but then go outside and take a hike, or draw yourself a nice warm bath. It will help get you out of your head and help you to realize how much you’re capable of on your own.
Organize Your Finances
Going through a divorce means that your financial situation will change drastically. Instead of pooling your income for a single household, you may have to pay for two living situations at the same time.
In order to absorb that burden, you need to stay organized. Make charts of where your money is going and ways you can save.
Get Support from Family and Friends
Many people are tempted to pull away from family and friends when they’re going through a tough time, but this is the time that you need their support the most.
Reach out to those closest to you, even if it’s been awhile. If you’ve spent most of your time with your spouse, use this time to rebuild your relationships with others.
You’ll be surprised how many of your old friends will want to be there for you and help you get back on your feet emotionally again.
Make Moving on Your End Goal
If your divorce comes suddenly or unexpectedly, it’s tempting to hope for a reconciliation with your spouse. But if they have made it clear that’s not possible, it’s healthiest to move on.
That doesn’t mean that you’re giving up on your family, just that you’re respecting the wishes of your spouse and taking care of yourself emotionally. You never know what the future might hold, but if you want to feel whole again, make moving on your end goal.
Make Sure Your Kids Are Okay
Going through a divorce isn’t just something for spouses to deal with. It has a huge effect on the entire family.
Your children will grieve the loss of stability. They’ll be confused, scared, and maybe even angry.
Now that there’s a new family dynamic, your children will have to adjust to the idea of splitting their holidays, weekends, and summers.
Take time to recognize how difficult this is on your children. Keep in mind, that’s not a reason to head back into a failing marriage. But, you can offer your children the opportunity for therapy so they can learn to cope with the changes.
Explore Other Interests
When you’re going through a divorce, it’s tempting to lie in your bed in the dark all day and cry. But that’s the last thing you need to do.
Once you’ve had a few days to deal with the shock of the situation, settle in and start to explore other interests. Did you previously play a musical instrument? Or maybe you loved to paint but haven’t in a while?
By starting up these activities, you’ll find another outlet for making friends and it will be a distraction from the stress of your divorce. You may even meet someone when you’re ready to start dating again.
How to Cope with Divorce? Learn from It
More than any other breakup, divorce hurts the worst. You lose your dreams for the future as well as your relationship.
But if you still want those things with someone else down the line, you need to realize that insanity lies in repetition. Take the time to sort out what truly went wrong.
Then address the ways you can get a different outcome in the future. Even if it seems like everything that went wrong was your spouse’s fault, you can still see that your reaction was what allowed them to continue.
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Now that you’ve learned how to cope with divorce, you can start a new path for yourself. It won’t be easy, but you’ll be on your way to feeling like yourself again before you know it.
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